Domestic Violence: Enough is Enough

In the United States alone, a woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds. According to a National Violence Against Women Survey, 22% of women are physically assaulted by a partner during their lifetimes and nearly 5.3 million partner victimizations occur each year among women age 18 and older. This results in 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths in the U.S. alone. These senseless acts of violence are problems that have occurred for centuries past. Even as human rights are established and gender equality has been propagated, domestic violence still occurs today in every level of society.

Even the scions of Hollywood society do not escape the wrath of domestic abuse and violence. During the last couple of weeks, there has been wide-spread speculation and heightened sensation on the alleged domestic dispute between power couple Rihanna and Chris Brown, two famous celebrity icons and role models for young people world-wide. When news broke that the couple had gotten into a violent argument where Chris Brown had allegedly beat up Rihanna, the tongues of Hollywood, and those of the mainstream public, have not stopped wagging. When pictures of a severely battered Rihanna surfaced in gossip internet sites, fans all over the world were shocked and aghast. Once a reputable, clean-cut, poster boy for talented musicians, Chris Brown is currently being charged and on trial for 2 felonies- charges of assault likely to cause great bodily injury and making criminal threats. Flames were fueled even more by news that a few short weeks after the brutal incident, the young couple had reconciled. This reconciliation shocked the public, more than the actual beating itself.

Domestic abuse is intolerable and inexcusable. If rumors are true that Rihanna had gotten back together with the man who had battered her- by repeatedly hitting her face, causing her mouth to swell up with blood, and slamming her face to the window, and even biting her ear- then she is a poor example for strong, young women everywhere. By reconciling with her abuser, she sends a message to teens everywhere that it is forgivable and even tolerable for a man to hit a woman.

Like a double-edged sword, fame often takes away a person’s entitlement to privacy. Famous public figures are no longer accountable just to themselves. Their actions and decisions are watched and judged by the society that idolizes and adores them. Famous public figures, such as Rihanna, have a social responsibility to be good role models to their fans. Millions of young people around the world look up to celebrities- they admire, emulate and worship these famous, beautiful people. As a symbol of a strong, young, talented woman, Rihanna must stand up and show the world that domestic violence is not to be tolerated. If a woman with as much power, fame and money as Rihanna, cannot escape a dysfunctional, violent relationship to a person with whom she is not even married to, nor does she share children with, then it’s a pretty bleak situation for women all over the world.

Unfortunately, statistics and studies have shown that many battered women do return to their abusers. Low self-esteem, helplessness, economic dependence and a contorted belief that things will change contribute to their return. Victims of physical and verbal abuse are often paralyzed with fear, with the belief that they cannot escape from their plight, and all they can do is cling to the hope that one day the abuse will stop.

Ultimately, abused women know that the violence will most likely escalate by their attempts to escape. They are terrorized by the consequences of what would happen if they tried to escape and get caught- even worse beatings by the abuser, or fatal danger to themselves and their loved ones. Most abused victims fear that the authorities are unable to provide them with the support or security they need to survive. Women often feel ashamed and blame themselves for the abuse.

Some battered wives feel bound by moral obligation to stay and work on their marriage, especially if they have children. Abusers have the power to manipulate their victims emotionally and mentally. Often the abusers will beg for forgiveness and shower the victims with gifts and adoration, after the brutal incident has occurred. The woman starts feeling a renewed sense of love for her attacker, and blames herself for the incident.

In many cases, women actually feel genuine LOVE and care for these men that hit them. They want their relationships to work, and they really believe it will be different this second time around, that the man truly has changed after all. However, it won’t be long until this vicious cycle soon starts again. Just as Oprah said during an interview, and candidly sent advice for Rihanna: “If a man hits you once, he WILL hit you AGAIN.”

As a woman, I am here to say that enough is enough. We must not allow men to oppress us with violence and abuse. Rihanna has a moral obligation and a civic duty to society- especially to women and children- to stand up to her attacker and prosecute him. Now more than ever, this is her opportunity to fight for the injustice and unfair treatment of women world-wide. If this kind of violence is deemed acceptable in the United States of America- this country so greatly known to preserve the rights of each individual, where the voice of every man and woman is heard, where all ethnicities are welcomed and embraced- then it may be seen even more permissible for developing countries to follow suit, especially in Middle Eastern nations, where women are still considered as second class citizens. This archaic way of “disciplining” women must be put to an end. It can end, and it will, if each victim stands up and finally says: ENOUGH.